She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
