You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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