Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
