I think I won the penis lottery.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
