i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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