I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
