Welp...herpes.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
