this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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