just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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