is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
