There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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