I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
