Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
