I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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