so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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