dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Your cock deserves a montage
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
