Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
