I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
