uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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