If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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