hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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