got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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