im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Only a mothe r could love this liver
only if we run a train.
done.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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