Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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