so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
