some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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