look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
