I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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