all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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