That's when you crack a 10am beer
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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