Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
