Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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