Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Mom said you looked used
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
