Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
