I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
