Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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