Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
