awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
