dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have fence marks all over my body
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
