just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
