Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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