i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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