"it" just moved
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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