I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
