remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
