somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
