Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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