dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
