her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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