Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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