puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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