Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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