dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
