HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
