What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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