wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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