He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I need to stop coming to work sober
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
