were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
